Recently my husband came home from work and told me about something that happened at work. When he was done with his story he said "Don't say anything about it on facebook". I nodded and said "of course not", now normally my husband does not tell me what I can and can't post on facebook so this is not in regards to him. But it got me thinking, I see people post things on facebook that some people may say is "in-appropriate". Of course often times the comments come in, depending on the post it could be people agreeing with the poster in their opinion or view, offering consoling words (sorry your going through that) and often there is at least 1 person that "lovingly" lets that person know that what they just posted is "in-appropriate".
Now I'm not here to debate what is and is not appropriate, I agree there are certain things that should not be posted online, and I will admit I have been guilty more then once of posting something that maybe I should have kept to myself. Unless it is a minor posting something that could lead them into trouble (location, in-appropriate images, bullying others etc), something illegal or something that can physically hurt someone else or put that person in danger, I'm not going to say anything to that original poster.
Here's the thing, I am an emotional person. No I mean VERY emotional, one of my gifts is serving others. In that I need to be needed and loved. I thrive on being needed, even if it sometimes stresses me out. One of the reasons I LOVE being a mommy! I have 3 little ones (and a hubby) that NEED me on a daily basis. By helping, it is my way of showing them I love them. On the flip side, I also often feel very rejected when people aren't willing to help when I need it. Be that in some physical manner or even mentally. I wear my heart on my sleeve. It's who I am, I am from a large family. I am used to having a huge family that does things together and has large family get together a few times a year. It's the way I grew up, it's what I love and something I plan on passing down to my children.
Over the years as my siblings and I have grown up, created our own lives and a few family members now living out of town. We have drifted apart, it's not so easy to get the whole family together. Often times there are "last minute" get together's where part of the family gets together and enjoys some time. It makes it hard to get everyone involved. Getting the entire family in one place often takes a lot of planning and coordination of at least 2 to 3 people. I tend to be a follower so typically I'm like "Just tell me when and were" and that is just fine with me. Over the years I've had to learn that even if most of the family gathers and I was not invited due to the suddenness of the planning and no-one thought about letting me know (assuming someone else had), I've had to learn not to let that effect me and hurt my feelings. Does it mean it doesn't hurt my feelings? No it doesn't, I'm sensitive so sometimes I see pictures on facebook and think "why wasn't I invited" not going to lie. A couple of years ago I would burst into tears every time it happened. It's who I am, I am an emotional person.
However this post is not about that at all. I'm just explaining where I come from in this next line of thinking. I think often times the "in-appropriate" posts I'm referring to are often posted out of hurt. Have you noticed that? I see it almost every day, someone says something like "I'm so over this! You know who you are! Next time I see you it's going down!" Some may include much more detail, some might give less details so what is that post really about? It's about the poster feeling hurt or violated. Often times it's hard to think about what is appropriate or not. Will the poster regret it later on? Possibly, maybe not. Will it offend someone and burn bridges? Maybe, maybe not. Could the post cause them to loose their job? Certainly. I'm not debating that, here's my point of this rather long post. It doesn't matter if it's appropriate or not, period. See it doesn't matter if someone posts something that I don't agree with (if its in regards to myself that's one thing). It's none of my business if someone is having a bad day at work and wants to vent about it online. Is it a wise idea? Probably not, but that's not my call. It's also not appropriate for me to call that person out on if their post is appropriate or not especially on their original post. If you REALLY feel you MUST say something to a person about if their post is appropriate or not you need to do it in private not for the world (that you didn't feel should see) to see.
Going back to the story of my husband saying "Don't say anything about it on facebook" is one more thing. I hear a lot of people telling other people not to post something on facebook. I personally am one that gets that a lot. We will be having a normal conversation, maybe about someones health or whatever and in the middle of the conversation someone will look at me and say "don't post that on facebook". Personally, I find that in-appropriate. I'm a grown woman, and while I may sometimes wear my heart on facebook and air my frustrations and hurts in an in-appropriate way that I might regret (the regret is mine to have). I am not so stupid that I will post something like that.
What I'm trying to say in this post is that please people have some compassion on the person that posted something in-appropriate. If they are doing it out of hurt you are only contributing to that hurt by "policing" their post. Especially if you call them out in public, it's hurtful and disrespectful and in-appropriate. If you don't like what someone posts don't read it or just move on. If you feel like that same person is always posting things that are in-appropriate you can always un-friend them. But please stop policing other people's posts and treating them as children (unless they really ARE children).
Just my two cents.
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