Don't mess with Momma bear.

Whew, the holidays are finally over. Its been a busy (but fun) time for the Molletts. Pretty much every weekend in Dec we have had plans.

First week in Dec we went to the nursing home to visit Casey's grandma and to show her Willa (she had yet to meet her) and to give her her Christmas gift.
Second week in Dec I had that photo shoot for the hotel on Sat. On Sun of that week we had a birthday party for a friend's daughter we attended (was Eli's first party to be invited to!). We also exchanged our Christmas gifts with said friend.
Third week in Dec on Sat we had my Dad's family's get together. That Sun we went to my mom's church to watch my younger siblings in their church play and then to lunch with my whole family.
Christmas Weekend kicked off on Fri with me being sick (again!) And Casey having to take off work so I could go to the Dr and rest as Willa decided Thurs she wasn't  going to sleep at all and I had no sleep. Then Fri night we went to the mother in law's house. This is where I found out I am very much a mother bear, even if I'm not protecting my cubs so to speak but just protecting family who I love.
So without going into detail (there's no point in it), something happened at my mother in laws after most of the guests had left. She was upset and needed back up so I jumped in and took it on myself to deal with the issue for her, and in the process having to confront someone. On the way home I told Casey I don't know WHERE I have gotten this conformational attitude from. Normally I avoid conflict unless I REALLY have to deal with it. But lately I have been very willing to address conflict. While I try to be nice about it and solve it in a peaceful manner I won't be pushed around either. Casey said he thinks that is because I'm a mother now and have protective instinct.

Sat we left town for Ashland MO where we spent Sat/Sun there with my dad and siblings and our step mom. It was fun and it was also a trial run, Eli does not do well when not in HIS bed. We figured 1 of us wouldn't get much sleep that night and if the other could sleep so that at least that person could drive home Sun evening that would be ok. We stayed at my sisters house on her living room floor. We took an air mattress and with the way her living room is set up we were able to block off a large section of it for where we slept and that way if Eli never laid down and went to sleep at least he was in a somewhat safe area and not about to wander around the house. I sat and rocked Willa in the recliner while Casey laid down. We tried to get Eli to lay down too but of course he was confused. Finally he climbed into my lap and soon fell asleep, so I was holding both sleeping babies in this recliner. Finally Casey got up and moved Eli to the mattress where he slept the rest of the night. Willa finally we were able to lay in her playpen and I was able to lay down. All in all it was a successful weekend. We were able to enjoy family and we had fun as well. This was a good Christmas, I love having the babies and this year was fun to see Eli's reaction to opening presents (he was still a tad to young last year) and his reaction to Santa this year which was to laugh at Papa for being dressed so silly. Although he wouldn't sit on his lap he did laugh at him and said "Papa". So now its time to get back to normal routine and look forward to next year!

Things get busy around here

Who would have thought things would be so busy around here? What with a 20mo old and a 3mo old things can get kinda crazy. We are however (at least myself and the kids) getting into a bit of a schedule. Willa has been doing well sleeping through the night (yay Willa!) She has a few nights here and there where she doesn't but for the most part she's pretty consistent. Since she's been consistent and she's getting to big for her bassinet we decided its time to put her in her room in her crib. First some changes..... I needed to stop using her crib to store her un folded laundry. I find it very difficult to find time to do laundry. Casey has been taking it down and starting it and I normally can go down and switch it and finish it but once it makes it upstairs it just kinda sits.... Till its used, or till its a small enough pile I can manage it and put it away. Of course then that starts the cycle all over again because well you know if the pile is small or used that means its all dirty again. Ha Oh my so much laundry for 4 people and 2 of them being so tiny! Its amazing!

I have been so busy lately I haven't had much time for computer other than to work. I haven't even shared on here something exciting that was happening! Probably all well and good seeing as how I needed to prepare and now I can share what happened as its all over with.

A couple weeks ago I got a call from my Aunt who as you may or may not know is only 6yrs older then me. We are more like sisters then Niece and Aunt. Anyway her husband works for Intercontinental hotel Kansas City (on the plaza) for those of you who are not from around here the Plaza is a large outdoor shopping mall. Typically it has expensive stores and restaurants in it. Its always busy and its a big deal to a lot of people around here. This hotel is a 4 star hotel and FANCY. So anyway my Aunt calls me and says that Brian wants to know if I would be willing to be the portrait photographer for the hotel's employee event Breakfast With Santa. They were estimating about 500 people to be there and about half of those were kids. They were going to have Santa there and the kids could go sit on his lap, they wanted a photographer to take pictures of the kids on Santa's lap. The hotel also wanted to have print rights to the pictures so they could gift 1 4x6 to each person of their children with Santa. They were in a pinch and so finally my uncle suggested me, typically the hotel is careful about hiring a family member to do stuff. They didn't want someone that was just into photography as a hobby or someone with a point and shoot camera. They wanted someone professional. So my uncle suggested myself, showed them pictures I've done of their family and they agreed to let me do it. I was so excited! The hotel did allow me to offer print packages however didn't want me to pressure people into buying them as they wanted this to be a fun time for the families. We did offer packages but let people know that they would be getting 1 free 4x6 from the hotel and there was no pressure to buy. It was a GREAT experience for us. My sister who is 18 has started working with me as she can to learn photography. She did the talking to people, showing them their pictures when they were available on my computer and taking orders and getting people to sign waivers for me. At first it was a little nuts, she kept having to ask me questions and not sure how to handle stuff. But about half way through she really got into the swing of things and was working the crowd like a pro. I don't think they had as many people as they thought they were going to but it was still a good turn out. All week I was updating things on my website and learning how to add special stuff. Like paypal buttons so they can order online if they would like to and adding directions for ordering. I spent most of my computer time working on that, like while the kids were napping or attention engaged elsewhere. Of course there was a lot of work to do while Casey was home too.

After Saturday's big event I had some prints to order so I wanted to go ahead and get our Christmas cards done and ordered too. Since I have an account with a professional print lab I can order stuff for my family too and get good quality stuff. Last year and this year I've used them to print our Christmas cards, I design our card in a 5x7 format and then submit it for print. They come out really nice and have that professional touch but don't cost an arm and a leg. This is the 2nd Christmas in a row we have had an addition to our family. Its kinda fun! Its so fun to design a card and add that extra picture, ya know? Taking family pictures this year also presented of course an additional challenge. Thankfully we had sprung the $20.50 to get a wireless shutter release for my camera so I could just click the button when I thought both kids were half way cooperative. Soon Eli learned I was controlling the camera and wanted to do it himself. That was a good way of getting him to sit still and look at the camera, he would watchyay!!!" and clap his hands and giggle. Thus we had a string of images all in a row that looked like the exact same picture just with him moving up and down as he was bouncing around a bit on my knee. But they turned out pretty cute regardless!

This Christmas season seems busier then ever, with so many family to see we have set aside every weekend in Dec to visit family. We have something planned every weekend for the rest of the year! I like to stay busy, it gets me out of the house and gives me something to look forward to. It also allows me to sleep in some because it always seems like the kids decide to sleep late on Sat when Daddy has agreed to be the one to get up with them if they get up early. Isn't that sweet of them? Haha

And of course last but not least, the best part of the season is celebrating Jesus! I love this time of year and what it represents, giving gifts that people love and seeing their reactions is always the best part. I love it more then getting gifts myself. Of course this year if you ask me what I want for Christmas my answer is probably something that would make my life as a mommy of 2 young children easier. Was the same way with my Birthday, I REALLY wanted this new diaper bag, its sad I know but at least I can get the more expensive type stuff that way instead of us paying for it ourselves.

I am woman hear me roar!!!!!! meow

So today started out kinda crazy, Eli has been sick and is being treated for a sinus infection. Willa last night had trouble keeping her sinuses clear even with the help of the "boogie bulb" and saline drops.
Willa and I wake at 7:30, I feed her, change her and realize she's worse then last night. I used the "boogie bulb" and do some more of the little noses. I tried calling her Dr to see if she can get her in but after trying to get a hold of them even after 9am I was unable to I figure I'll just go ahead and have her seen at College Park and pay out of pocket. So we take her to see Casey's Dr (mine was out of the office as was her husband). Her appointment was at 10 which it was 9:15 when I made the appointment and I still had to get Eli up, dressed and fix him a sippy cup (give him his meds) and give him some nilla wafers in a bowel to take with him.... I know breakfast of champions but he's on a nilla wafer kick and only wants to eat those and I'm not going to fight him today. LOL

I get both kids loaded in the car, I get us to the Dr's office just in time and Dr T is quick to see us and write an RX for little Willa who now too has a sinus infection. Dr T sends the RX electronically to CVS. Now this one takes FOREVER so I figure I have something I need to pick up at best buy that I ordered online last night for store pick up. I just got asked to be the portrait photographer for a local hotel's employee "breakfast with Santa" where they are expecting somewhere around 500 people. I am figuring I'll be VERY busy taking orders for prints and such so I want to have a way of when I take the picture having it come up right away on my lap top. Who knew there was this thing called "Eye-Fi" its a memory card that can transmit the images via wi-fi to the computer. It can even upload the images onto other websites! SO COOL! I'm gonna give it a try! So since I'm out I am going to pick up my new camera accessory and then grab lunch and then pick up the RX before coming home. Now this is me with 2 kids under the age of 2 out in public alone. I have Willa in her travel system which is her car seat sits inside her stroller. I have her little cozy cover on her car seat to keep her warm. I get the stroller out of the trunk, get her in her car seat out of the car and put them in the stroller. Then I wheel them over to the other side of the car where I park the stroller and get Eli out. While holding his hand I lock the car up and then with my other free hand I push the stroller.... Not very easy to do! So I make it into the store finally, the LP (loss prevention guy) has been watching us from inside and says with a look of amusement and at the same time amazement at my abilities if I need any help. How nice of him! But I say "no I think I've got it" with a very tired laugh. I know I'm just going to the service desk to pick up my little camera memory card how hard can it be right?

So we get to the service desk, we have to navigate those dumb rope things mind you with a stroller and holding a 19mo olds hand cause you know as soon as I let go he's gone! I am headed towards the area of the service desk that is the only place someone is standing at not paying attention to signs. I make the tight u-turn to get there and tell him I have an order to pick up...... He points back the other way to the other end of the counter and says "Store pick up is over there". Great now I have to turn the stroller in a TIGHT spot while holding said 19mo old hand and I still don't seen anyone that might be helping me. Seriously I think this dude just wanted to see if I could do it! Ok granted there was a sign that said "store pick up" but who notices that little sign? Even if it is big and has flashing neon lights really you expect me to read it? Anyway, I make it down to the end of the counter and look around for someone to help me..... Some guy in the back is on a computer and doesn't even look up. I look back at the other guy to see him deliberately looking around like he's waiting for someone else to need his assistance and then after a few seconds as if I had JUST walked up he walks over and says "Can I help you???" Seriously? So I totally have that scene from "Meet the Parents" where Ben Stillers character is going back home after breaking up with his girlfriend. You know he's standing at the airport, its dead and the stewardess announced boarding for rows such and such and he stands up and walks over and she looks at his ticket and says "Oh I'm sorry sir..... We're not boarding your row yet please step back" and yet there is no one around! Then after a few seconds she announces they are now boarding ALL rows. Blinks at him and then welcomes him with a smile that you just want to smack off her face. Yes folks thatsHaha At least 1 gets marks for customer service. The sad thing is I was going to tell them I wanted to let the manager know that the LP guy was so helpful. But then I forgot about it for the idiot working behind the counter. Sides not like he would have given me the time of day to do so.... Hum maybe I should call the store and compliment the LP guy after all. :)

What I do find funny is that when I am out in public like this alone with the two kids, lots of people look at me and the kids and smile really big. I'm sure a lot are thinking "man she's got her hands full" but more often then not they are looking more at Eli and they smile, they wave some even talk to him. I think its because he's such a good boy! I mean seriously in todays world there are so many kids his age that are not behaved at all and are not being watched like they should. They are just being allowed to run a muck, I think a lot of people appreciate how hard it is to get 2 kids out by myself but even more so how well behaved (and cute) he is in public. So while I am extremely exhausted this week I do love my little family to death and wouldn't trade it for all the rest and sleep in the world.

Lifes a Roller Coaster

Last week sometime I was watching a movie and towards the end the main character (Steve Martin) and his wife were going through some stuff. One of which was the finding out she was pregnant with their 4th child when they thought they were done and couldn't really afford another child. Wisely this main character's grandmother a cute ol lady walks into the room and says "You know, when I was 17 your grandpa took me on a roller coaster ride at the fair. It was scary, fun and exciting.... Some people prefer to stay on the merry go round and just go around in circles. Wheres the excitement in that? No I preferred the roller coaster". At the time Steve Martin rolled his eyes but later in the movie it shows him realizing she was talking about life.

It got me thinking about how right she was, life can be like a roller coaster. We can choose to white knuckle the ride, close our eyes and hold our breaths till the end and then jump off and run to the "safer" merry go round. Or we can throw our hands up in the air, open our eyes and scream our lungs out (in fun of course) and enjoy the ride to the end and when its over hop back on and enjoy it again. Our week last week has been one of those roller coaster rides. Its had its highs! And its had its lows that I'll admit at times I was white knuckling it and holding my breath and yes sometimes crying just waiting for it to end. But its life and I wouldn't want to be stuck on a boring merry go round.

Last Tues Willa had her 2mo baby check up. It went for the most part good, she was a big 10.4lbs and 22 1/2in long. She has caught up to her "ideal" weight which is something we have yet to accomplish with Eli. She LOVES to eat. She had some shots as they normally do at this age and of course was pretty fussy most of the evening. But as long as I was holding her nuzzled against my breast she was pretty quite and content. We decided to spend the day with my aunt and her kids after. Eli had a BLAST as did Mommy watching him play with his cousins. Later Casey joined us at their house for dinner and we had some fun. Finally coming home for the evening. Weds was a normal day but I was on a high, I slept good and I felt good. I've always known I need to be around people a lot and I think that 1 day of socializing was a good thing for me. I looked forward to good food and spending time with Casey's family the next day.

Thurs we started down into a low, Casey wasn't feeling well, we suspect him getting food poisoning from under cooked chicken (Hey I tried to make sure that piece was done!) We still went to his mom's house for dinner and had a nice time. Finally leaving a little earlier then normal due to Casey not feeling well. That night Willa didn't sleep through the night, then it really began. For some reason Willa would scream if I put her down, it wasn't just putting her down it was every time I handed her to Casey even. She would scream bloody murder unless I personally was holding her and nursing her. She was attached at the boob nearly all day. Most of the time she would just nuk a little and then fall asleep but as soon as I would move her or put her down she'd wake and scream. It continued most of the night, all day Saturday and Saturday night. By this point I was so exhausted I could hardly even hold her! FINALLY around 2am Sun she fell asleep for a few hours. Sunday we seemed to be coming out of the slump, while we're still waiting to get back up on the high part of the roller coaster I think we're headed back up. At least I hope so, she still wants to be held a lot but is back to sleeping better although still not back through the night. I CAN put her down for a few minutes at least and Casey can once again hold her and get little smiles from her. While this week has been hard I think I would still rather be on a roller coaster then to be on a merry go round where nothing happens. No good, no bad. Just nothing, I've been in that state before and don't care for it. Bring on life's adventures!

All about Eli!

As the title of this post suggests I'm going to brag about my first born. He's such a wonderful kid who could blame me? He's doing so much lately I don't know where to start!

Eli has really started talking a lot more lately, seems he says a new word every day. He's been having some short conversations with us. Some we can understand perfectly, most we can't. He sometimes gets a little frustrated that we don't always understand him. Some of our recent convocations were:

*Phone rings and I ignore because its a number I don't know* Eli: "Who is it?" Often times when the phone rings he will shout out "Hello!" I love that kid, doesn't matter where we are or what type of ring he'll yell hello.
While Casey was installing new outlets in the kids rooms, Eli: "What are you doing?" Casey "Putting in new outlets" Eli "Oh"
Casey playing with Eli and knocking on a closed door, Eli: "Who is it?"
Eli to Willa while holding out a toy: "Play with this" He's so good at sharing so far!

Eli lately has gotten really good at "helping" me with Willa. One day she was crying and I was ignoring her for just a few more minutes (we're trying to learn to self soothe). Eli ran over to her and stuck her paci in her mouth for her. She still has trouble keeping it in her mouth so of course it fell out shortly after, Eli spent about 5min putting the paci back in her mouth. Was SO cute,

He was so proud of himself for helping!

Shortly after that I hear a loud sucking noise coming from behind me, I turned around and he had 2 of her paci's side by side in his mouth and was sucking on them both at once! Was funny! He hasn't used a paci for sucking on since he was about 3mo old, he just kinda started refusing to take it.

He's such a ham!

We recently brought the swing downstairs from Willa room, she loves sitting in it and we have finally gotten Eli to not try and give her his toys (which sometimes hurt her when he flops them on her) and he for the most part leaves her alone. Sometimes he tries to help with her when she fusses, he'll go over and talk to her or wipe her mouth (he see's me do it when she spits up) sometimes he puts a paci in her mouth (even if she's sound asleep). But generally he's gotten really gentle with her and loves her.

Sunday morning I had given Willa a bath, Eli was in one of those moods where he wanted mommy and was jealous that she was getting attention and of all things a bath! (He loves bath time). Since I use the kitchen sink to bathe her in I generally bring down her clean clothes, diaper and lotion. This is only the second time she's been big enough to bath in the actual infant bath tub that I put in the sink. Before I was bathing her in the bathroom sink and get this she was small enough to lay IN it with her legs bent a little. Anyway after her bath I put her on the couch and put her diaper on. Eli was still pulling at me and crying so I finally told him "Give me your hand and you can help me put lotion on Willa." He held his hand out and I put a little dab of lotion on his hand and showed him to rub it into her leg. He grinned really big, he LOVED it. At first he was a little rough and more pinching then rubbing but he soon got it and was rubbing it nicely. After her legs were rubbed up good we did her arms, tummy and back. He loved it the whole time and got really good at it. It was so cute and she was watching him the whole time too. He's such a big helper!


Yesterday Willa had her 2mo well child check. We take her to the same Dr my aunt takes her newborn who is only 5days younger then Willa so we just go together. After we spent some time with her family, Eli had fun playing with his cousins. Faith who is 4 loved playing with him and mothering him, she was a good helper and Eli followed her easily in the Dr's office. Later while at their house Eli got a cup full of milk off the table and tried drinking it but spilled it all down his front. Since I was going to stay awhile my aunt was kind enough to have her 11yr old run the clothes down to the wash and wash them. Turns out Eli is allergic to the laundry soap they use. Before we left their house his clothes came out of the dryer and we put them on, when we got home he had hives all over his face. He had fallen asleep in the car and had his head on his shoulder which caused the hives to be really bad on that side. His arms and legs also had some hives, he had a onsie on under the hoody and pants he was wearing that didn't get wet when he spilled so it hadn't gotten washed. So all his skin UNDER the onsie didn't have hives on it. We called asked a nurse and they said we could give him a bath with baking soda in it to help with the itching and we washed his skin really well. After his bath Daddy went to get some benadryl that ask a nurse told we could give him. We gave him his dosage and put him to bed, this morning the rash was gone on one cheek but the one that had it the worst was still red and had hives still. However we figure he must have slept on that side the most because about an hour after he got up they were gone.

During the time he had hives he was never grumpy, just could tell he was a little itchy is all.


and finally, I am going to attempt potty  training, I know its early so its going to be a casual thing. If he gets it, great! If not I won't push it for awhile. We let him play with his potty chair for a few minutes then we put it in the bathroom. Today when I took him up to change his diaper after I cleaned his booty I said "lets go potty!" and led him to the bathroom. As I needed to potty myself I thought I would lead by example. I sat down and encouraged him to. I cheered as I pee'd (I know I'm crazy!) and then when he started crying I let him up. I flushed and we went to put his diaper on. Later when I changed his diaper again we did it again, this time when I said "lets go potty!" he ran to the bathroom himself. Lifted the lid on his potty and tried to sit on it himself. So he might be ready, maybe starting Monday I can actually start taking him every 30 min or so.

He's such a great kid and we are so blessed to have him!

Things can change in an instant.

The day after my last post which was full of being overwhelmed and overly exhausted Willa decides she's going to sleep through the night. From 11pm-7am! I was praising God! Thank you Jesus! But that was accomplished by doing something that I was discouraged from doing..... Letting her sleep on her belly. She is very gassy and lately its gotten worse when she's on her back. I give her gripe water and gas drops and still she has a little gas. At least its not enough for her to SCREAM like it was before but its still pretty bad and keeps her awake at night. Following the successful full nights sleep the next night I did the same thing. I DO put her down to sleep on her back and she will sleep that way for a short time (although its getting shorter) but she wakes every few minutes and cries due to the gas. She also grunts all night in her sleep, so when she gets to where she's crying more then sleeping is when I roll her to her tummy. Right away she will let out a loud fart and then fall right to sleep. I don't hear a peep out of her all night either except the occasional her repositioning her head (she can lift her head off the mattress all the way). I am careful not to have loose blankets, or stuffed animals in with her. However she has now slept through the night 4 nights in a row! BUT thats only because I'm putting her on her belly. Generally speaking she has been sleeping 11p-6a or so which is great for 2mo old.

So while I've been getting more sleep lately I've been torn, so I called my Dr to ask her advice. She says she still recommends having her sleep on her belly. I ask her what to do cause she won't sleep that way at all and she says to either wrap her tightly in a blanket or put a rolled up blanket behind her to elevate (doesn't work) her head or even behind her to let her sleep on her side. Willa can already mostly roll to her side anyway so I'm thinking if I put her on her side she will end up rolling to her belly anyway. The last few weeks to get her to sleep on her back it would literally take me 4hrs to get her down for a few hours of sleep! I would start at 8 or 9 and would nurse her till she fell asleep and then lay her down. Then would end up getting back up with her right away and nursing her back to sleep. Finally she would fall asleep around midnight but then be back up around 4 or so and then it would take a bit to get her back to sleep. So I'm torn, I was hoping the Dr would say it was ok to let her sleep on her belly because she can lift her head and turn it side to side. But she didn't. So do I keep doing what I know works best and helps her comfort level? I know years ago they used to recommend putting babies to sleep on their belly. Sometimes being a parent isn't as easy as its seems!

On another note, Eli has been such a great big brother! last night he learned how to "kick" a ball and had great fun kicking it down the 7 stairs to our living room where I was waiting at the bottom to toss it back up to him. He would giggle and giggle and squeal and clap his hands. Was a great game and it helped burn some energy! However I did learn that we should give him a little downtime after something like that and not just put him to bed which is what Casey did shortly later. Haha

Confessions of a weary mother

This blog is meant for me to have a way to keep people updated on all things our family. I've also found it helps me to get out some of my feelings which are normally are just happy and how blessed I feel. Don't get me wrong I am VERY happy and I am so Blessed. I'm just tired, I often feel overwhelmed. About once a week I have a break down moment. A just cry and cry moment, normally its due to being exhausted like last nights. I So badly wanted Willa to go to bed BEFORE midnight. Instead she stayed awake till almost 1, I am trying to teach her to self soothe but at night I really can't just let her cry it out for 2 reasons. Casey and Eli, Casey has to get up and go to work in the morning. If Eli is awakened by Willa then I'll have 2 kids to try and take care of in the middle of the night.

I LOVE my kids, I can't imagine life without them, it just gets a little overwhelming at times. At night when I can't get Willa to fall asleep all I do is sit in her room staring at the wall across from me. I'm really starting to hate that carousel horse! (not really). Its also been hard because just like Eli was Willa wants attention ALL the time. She wants to be held and played with, Eli is to young to really help with that although he so badly wants to hold her! She however is way more vocal about it. She will sometimes flat out SCREAM! It doesn't help that for the last week I've had a bad headache that won't go away and I can't take any of my GOOD drugs for it. I've also taken my maximum amount of doses of Tylenol in a week time. My neurologist said when I have a headache like this taking more then 3 doses in a weeks time of Tylenol will actually make it worse because when the Tylenol wears off the headache will rebound and be worse. So with the headache like that I don't WANT a screaming baby. I told Casey last night I feel like such a terrible mother, I can't play with Eli like I used to as much, and I feel bad for feeling tired of holding Willa all the time. Shouldn't a mother WANT to hold her baby all the time? Its not that I mind holding her its just I can't do much of anything when I am. I feel like a bad mother because the house is filthy (Casey says its not). There are so many things I need to do but I'm lucky if I can get 10min of Willa being content not to be held.

Like I said, about 1 day a week I have this feeling completely overwhelmed. Last week I seemed to be doing really good, Tues I had a minor overwhelmed feeling that went away in about 15min then the rest of the week was great! It seemed Willa was getting on some sort of sleeping routine and I was actually getting enough sleep. This week however has just been horrible, I will be glad when its over!

The good news is Casey will stop and get dinner on the way home tonight so I don't have to fix dinner. Then he is going to watch the babies so I can go lay and just get some much needed sleep and alone time. I have a great husband who is so supportive! I can't imagine how single parents do it!

What would we do without Eli?

It was with great pride and a lot of apprehension that I watched Eli figure out how to take his t-shirt off a little while ago. Pride that he's growing up and learning so well, and of course the apprehension at having to chase a toddler all over the house to re-dress him from now on! He's already been taking off his pants and sometimes his diapers but normally we keep him in a onesie so the shirts have taken longer to learn. None the less he figured it out quickly when he decided it was time for the shirt to come off! I watched as he pulled and pulled at one sleeve till his arm was out and sticking out the bottom of the shirt. Then watched as he thought his next movement through. First he pushed the shirt on that side up over his shoulder, then he looked at his shirt then pulled the neck hole down a little and looked through it. Then he pushed his shirt up over his head, almost all the way but wasn't far enough, I watch him lower it back down. Look through the whole again and this time start with the bottom of the shirt and slide it all up and off his head. The second arm of course came out easily, suddenly he's standing in front of me with this huge grin and throws his shirt at me. I don't know if I should laugh, cry or cheer his accomplishment. So he gets a good job buddy and he's off and playing.

Some of you may not know but when Eli was an infant he had an umbilical hernia, and a big one at that. His belly button stuck out a lot at that time. So now he has an outtie belly button, while he was taking off his shirt I was feeding Willa. After taking his shirt off he looks down at his chest..... Then back at me..... I knew where this was going I am actually surprised he hasn't tried to "feed" any of his stuffed animals yet. Suddenly he runs upstairs and grabs his pal Scout (little green dog that talks) He stands at the top of the stairs and looks at me again. Then down at his chest, then at me and then suddenly the light comes on and he quickly puts Scout to his..... Belly button! At this point I'm laughing so hard tears are rolling, I had seen him look from one of his tiny nipples to the other he had puffed his chest in and out and I guess they still didn't look enough like the ones I was giving Willa and lets be honest an outtie belly button does look a lot like a good nipple for latching a baby to! Or at least in his mind! So he stands there at the top of the stairs for a bit grinning at me as I'm laughing my head off and then slowly trying to keep Scout to his belly button he comes down the stairs till he reaches the bottom where he sits down for a bit and rocks side to side. At this point Willa spits up all over me (common thing to happen) and I got "Uh oh!" and grab the towel I had sitting next to me to clean up her face and um my boob. Eli jumps up from his spot and drops Scout going (Uh oh!) then he runs over and gets his discarded shirt on the floor and runs over to Scout. Picks him up and wipes his face, then he wraps the shirt around Scouts head. I don't know what that last part was about but regardless he was pretty proud of himself and laughing and clapping. Maybe thats his solution to keep from getting puked on? Wrap a towel around the baby's head to keep it from getting all over?

Finally tired of feeding his Dog he was playing when Casey came in from putting weather plastic on the windows outside. Casey went out the front door and left the wooden one open so Eli could look outside. Eli closed the door, shortly after he wanted it open and I could hear him twisting the knob and trying to pull the door open (yes we're there folks!). He doesn't yet turn the knob far enough to get it open so the door wasn't opening. Finally he stopped and ran to the other side of the door and was messing with the hinges, then he ran back and tried the door knob. Then back to the hinges, this went on several minutes before he finally gave up. I'm pretty impressed that he would think to try messing with the hinges. He's observant thats for sure and seems to be very technically inclined as well. Thats good though because Casey will have fun teaching him all kinds of stuff, from electrical, to building, to car repair etc. About the only thing Casey doesn't know much about is plumbing. Which makes for a great all around husband who can fix just about anything!

So what would we do without Eli? I have no idea! We would be very very bored I am sure of that!

Where do you want to be in 5yrs?

If you had asked me that 5yrs ago I might have answered that I would like to be married but at that point I wouldn't have thought it was possible. Let alone having 2 kids! You see it was 4 years ago today that I met Casey. We had e-mailed online for about a week and decided to meet in person. I know kinda fast but I felt like it was safe enough and the way he talked in e-mail made me feel pretty safe about it.

We met at a bowling ally near my apartment for a game of bowling, many of you that know me really well know that I had dated 2 other guys before meeting Casey. The first one lasted almost 3 years kinda as he joined the Navy after we met and was away most of the time. The 2nd one well I knew from the beginning I wouldn't marry him but he was a fun photography buddy. Both relationships let me know what I did and didn't want in a guy. I wanted a guy that had a closer moral (and political) view point to myself like the 1st one I dated. But I wanted someone who wasn't so afraid of relationships and didn't wall himself off which was like the 2nd one. Casey turned out to be the perfect mix of both of the guys and the area's in them that I found attractive. We met in front of the bowling ally and he gave me some flowers. That right there was pretty impressive. Even while dating 2 other guys before that I had only gotten flowers once and that was from the first one after I wrote him a scathing letter because he hadn't sent me flowers for Valentines day. Haha
After introducing ourselves we went inside to bowl and get to know either other. Casey of course was doing a really good job, I on the other hand wasn't. Towards the end of the 2nd game that I was losing badly I mentioned I was never good at it and he suddenly started to do horribly as well. Finally the last frame I knew if he got a gutter ball I would barely win and I knew he knew that. I could see it in his face he was going to throw the game just because he was so sweet. I figured he had started doing poorly on purpose and so I said "Don't you throw the game!" Catching him mid stride he stops and comes back and starts again and then bowls a strike of course.

Here is the bowling ally we met at, we had a couple more dates after this and then he went with me to meet my family the following week. The funny story we always like to share is how I lived in apartments right across the street and behind some other apartments. I told him that I lived in "Yellow" apartments.

We had agreed to have him pick me up at my apartment for dinner the night before we were to go visit my dad and family. I had told him to call me when he was leaving his house and let me know he was on his way and I would give him directions....... He finally called at the time he was supposed to be there and said he was right outside the front of my building (pictured here). I couldn't believe it, what? How'd he find me? Ok so I know its not hard when the apartments are yellow but this is a huge complex so how'd he know MY building? Well his logic was that he just looked for my yellow car that had dolphins hanging from the rear view mirror.
My thinking when he found me like that was "Is he a stalker?" to make the story even greater was when I asked where we were going (supposed to be going to dinner) and he says "Village Inn" Ok so I didn't know there was a restaurant named "Village Inn" so of course I nearly jumped out of his moving truck! Good thing I didn't because when I said "Umm so they have a restaurant IN the Inn?" He laughs and says "No it IS a restaurant". Oh whew! The weekend after that went GREAT!

So to go to my Dad's in Columbia MO I picked him up at his house and got a glimpse of where he lived...

Yes that tiny house was his home his whole life! Can you believe at one time there was 4 people living in there? His grandparents, his Mom and himself. Now it could easily be done except for the fact that his mom and grandma are pack rats! Notice the shed in the back (blue) it is almost as big as their whole house! And yes it was full of JUNK.

For Thanksgiving later that month we went to my Dad's again. While there my mom sent all of us a text message saying not to plan anything for the last week of July through the first week of Aug. I decided to be cheeky and text her back saying "But I'm getting married that weekend!" I of course was joking! We hadn't even known each other a month yet. However I will confess that after our first date when I was telling my Dad how it went I had told him I had a feeling I'd be marring this guy.

Little did I know at the time when I was just being a smarty pants that about 4mo later on March 23 2008 that Casey would propose. Since we wanted to have the motorcycle as part of the wedding and wanted to do it at the church we were going to we had to settle for Aug 2 2008 which ended up being the weekend that my Mom had said not to make plans for back in Nov! It was to funny, but turns out the reason was because my younger siblings were going to be attending acting camp and as it turns out that Saturday was just the end fun talent show they do and as it turns out my siblings ended up not being able to attend camp anyway. So it all worked out.

If you had asked me 5yrs ago where I saw myself I wouldn't have said In Olathe KS, owning my own house with my husband. I wouldn't have said the house would be in a good neighborhood with a fenced yard (something I ALWAYS Wanted) with our 2 dogs. I wouldn't have said that I would be married to someone I didn't yet know, I wouldn't have said that I would have 1 child let alone 2. I wouldn't have said that I would have my photography business (A long time dream of mine) at least somewhat up and going. I wouldn't have been able to predict how much my life was going to change in just a few short years. If you would have told me where I would be I would have probably smiled at the thought but laughed at you for thinking you were crazy. So many of my dreams that I was starting to think would never happen have happened over the last 5 years. They have been WONDERFUL and I am so happy and thankful to a marvelous God who has finally said that I was done waiting and that it was time to say Yes to some things. Don't get me wrong, it took him saying No to several other things, but looking back on it I wouldn't change that for anything. The things I was begging him for 5yrs ago that he said No to I am so glad he did. Because then I wouldn't have what I have today. A life with the most amazing husband and wonderful kids. I really feel blessed so much and often think I don't deserve it all. God has been good to our family and he continues to be so now.

A little side note at the end of this, I started typing this up yesterday (Nov 3) but couldn't finish it till now. Haha

My Halloween project

Friday afternoon while nursing Willa while Eli was taking a nap I was watching our 1 TV channel we seem to get clearly sometimes (have I mentioned how I hate the digital age?). Anyway there was this show on and they were giving Halloween decorating tips, normally we don't decorate except for FALL stuff but this one thing caught my attention. It was a cute thing they did that would allow you to just set it on the porch and add candy, which appealed to me because we enjoy handing out candy but knew we wouldn't be home this year. So I told Casey about it and we decided to do it ourselves. I will be posting pictures and explaining how we did it later in this post.

After getting the supplies we needed for this project I started trying to think of ways to include a way to minister to the children and or parents. Early Sunday morning while I was nursing Willa (seems I do my best thinking while nursing her) I thought maybe I could print up little bible verses and roll them up into little scrolls and attach to the candy. So after feeding her I googled "bible verses for children" I found the following website. http://ministry-to-children.com/   I found their bible verses and then noticed that several included coloring pages you can print and low and behold one was a halloween coloring page. How cool was that? The verse used was "Do not be afraid, for I am with you". PERFECT, so I downloaded the coloring pages (there is a boys page and a girls page) re-sized them to 3x5 and printed them off to roll up and attach to the treats. The whole project only took a couple of hours, and I was able to complete most of it during the kids nap time. So here is my project with instructions. :)

First start out with a medium sized pumpkin and draw dots.

 Next get a Bag of Suckers

Print the coloring pages.....

Cut the pictures out.

Then I cut small pieces of ribbon and had Casey get me a cordless drill with a small bit.

Then I had to fold and then roll each coloring sheet and tie with the ribbon.

I don't have a picture of the next two steps but what I did was tie the little "scrolls" to the suckers and had Casey drill holes in the pumpkin. Finally we set up our little "decorated" pumpkin.

Then I also had the idea of using this to promote my business so I put this little sign up. It also has the bible verse used in the coloring pages on it and if you look on the rail there is a box that has some of my business cards in it.

The finished product, the thing is there are a LOT of suckers and unless you have a LOT of kids that come to your door, you might want to opt for a smaller pumpkin with a smaller bag of suckers. There were about 160 here. Overall it was super cute and didn't take that long to create. Granted if you did JUST the suckers it would take about 15min to do. :)

Starting a routine

Before I was pregnant I had started a work out routine. I HATE working out, I get bored so I had asked for the Wii Balance board for Christmas thinking it might encourage me to work out since it would kinda be like playing a game. I love playing video games and I am competitive so I was always wanting to do better at the games on the Wii Fit then Casey which would spark over an hour of me trying to top him on certain stuff. Was a great motivator. I started losing weight pretty quick, I was also watching what I was eating and logging everything into myfitnesspal.com (LOVE that site). I have several friends on there and its a good way to encourage healthy eating and exercise habits. Initially after finding out I was pregnant I kept with the work out routine just scaled it down a little to keep my heart rate at a safe level (Dr recommended) but as the morning sickness got worse and the fatigue from being pregnant and having a toddler I gave up on working out while pregnancy. I also wasn't gaining weight so I knew I shouldn't worry about "burning calories" since I wasn't getting enough anyway.

During the pregnancy I vowed when Dr gives me the green light I was going to get back to my workout routine. Yesterday I had my 6wk post par tum check and everything looked great. Granted I forgot to make sure it was ok with the Dr but I knew it should be since everything was good. So I decided to restart my routine just start off easy like I did last time.

This morning Willa woke up at 6am and after eating she was wide awake so I decided that since Eli is asleep still this would be the perfect time to do my work out. So I put Willa in her bouncy seat and she lay ed there watching me work out. Towards the end she decided she was hungry again and started fussing, I let her fuss while I finished my cool down and then started to feed her.

I also have been lacking in my bible reading lately and have wanted to get back into that so what a more perfect time to read the bible then after a good workout to wake me up and while feeding the baby while the toddler sleeps? I thought so too so I grabbed my bible before sitting down to feed Willa. I read aloud to her and she was soon sound asleep with a happy tummy. Just as I was finishing up Eli woke up and I got him up, dressed and got him his breakfast.

After getting him his breakfast I proceeded to the kitchen to unload the dishwasher and get myself something to eat. Wow its been a productive morning so far for me and I'm not near as tired as I normally would be. I think I'll try to keep this routine going, :)

I found one!

For those of you that have been following me on Facebook you know that I've posted statuses about trying to find a Dr I feel comfortable with that takes medicaid. We have healthwave which is not full on medicaid but still state assisted. We were told to pick one of two plans, so I picked the one that had the thicker book and more Dr's listed. Might have been a mistake as I have had trouble finding Dr's accepting new patients even though the book says they do. Some can only take the OTHER plan of healthwave, coming from 6yrs experience working in a Dr's office I understand the reasons and all that but still its made it harder. Every time I think I've found one I feel comfortable with when I call they aren't accepting new patients. Its been hard for me having to change the Dr I take the kids to because I love and trust Dr Nash so much! I love College Park Dr's and I've been struggling with accepting the fact that I can't use them for the kids Dr's. My Healthwave is only effective a few more weeks so I won't be changing Dr's unless I get pregnant again (which hopefully won't be for another couple of years).

So I finally ended up just looking for a female, in her 30's-40's (I wanted someone I could relate to) and was able to find her picture on the Internet and thought she LOOKED friendly. But that was all I had to go on, one of my major struggles has been that our Dr is a Christian and prolife which is big to me. I didn't want to get a Dr that was against prolife and pushy about things. My Dr understands that I am slightly hesitant about getting certain shots for the kids and is fine about that. I didn't want to get a Dr that was super pushy with that stuff.

While I was looking in the book I noticed that the Dr that my aunt goes to is listed as a provider. Thats awesome cause I know she's a Christian and actually I used to go to her before I started working at College park. The problem was she's about an hour drive from our house. Ugh after discussing with Casey he feels its best not to use her as the kids PCP. So I booked the appointment with the lady I could only HOPE was as nice as she looked in the picture.

Yesterday I was talking to my aunt and I just casually mentioned that her Dr is a healthwave provider. She says "huh I didn't know that!" I tell her it was cool but the problem was she was so far away and Casey didn't want me driving that far with the kids alone that often. While discussing my Aunt came up with a GREAT plan, you see she also just had a new baby. In fact she was due 2wks BEFORE me and was going to have a C-section due to medical issues that require C-sections. With Willa being born early that meant that her baby is actually 5 days younger then Willa. We've had great fun being pregnant at the same time and discussing how we feel etc. Its been GREAT having the babies so close in age, while we haven't been able to hang out much yet we will! Anyway she suggested that since they are the same age why don't I schedule Willa's well checks at the same time as Patricks and we can just ride together! Genius! So I call Casey and discuss the idea with him. We decided that would be a good plan, if one of the kids gets sick and we don't want to or can't drive the hour to see her we can just take them to Children's mercy urgent care center but have my aunts Dr be their primary Dr.

Of course now the concern is is she REALLY accepting new patients on our plan? Also Patricks well check was schedule for the next day is there a way they can get Willa in at the same time? Well my aunt is good friends with the Dr and knows the staff well so she offers to call them up and talk to them. In the end they ended up working Willa in at the same time as Patrick. We would just have to be in the same room at the same time and she would just do their checks together if we were ok with that. I'm like "thats great!". So now we have found a PCP for the kids that I already know and trust and I can breath a big sigh of relief.

Once again, God provides!

Further proof God provides.

When I was first pregnant with Eli we were expecting/hoping for a normal non complicated pregnancy. Most of you know that wasn't the case as towards the middle my blood pressure started climbing and I ended up spending time in the hospital before he was born. Not having insurance you can imagine the bill we have, the hospital advised us to apply for medicaid which we did but since we had to provide taxes from the previous year which was 2009 we were declined because I had worked 6mo out of the year. When I found out I was pregnant with Willa I thought I should try applying again but as I do when it comes to this sort of thing (I hate filling out paperwork) I dragged my feet. I was actually almost done with the paperwork when we ended up unexpectedly in the hospital 4wks early planning on delivery (see earlier posts if you need that story.)

Once again due to lack of insurance the patient advocate came in the next day and was talking to me about medicaid. She helped me finish the paperwork and get everything submitted shortly after Willa was born. She had told me based off Casey's monthly income she didn't think we would qualify for full medicaid but the kids might at least qualify for Healthwave.  For those that don't know what that is its state assisted medical insurance but the parents have to pay for it. Its not as expensive as regular insurance and it covers more. She said that full on medicaid could possibly back pay for medical bills up to 3 months but healthwave wouldn't. However the hospital would give us a reduced rate for the bills which with Willa being in the NICU for 9 days we figured would be a HUGE bill.

So we submitted the paperwork, me fully expecting to not get full medicaid and waited. Last week I got 2 calls from medicaid asking questions to finish my application. One question was about my photography that I had to list as an "employer" but they understood there has been little to no business so far. The other was what I was hoping to have covered for me that was within the last 3 months. This question amused me because I have both kids listed on there and its clear that Willa was JUST born and she wants to know what medical bills we need help with for me. I say pregnancy/birth and she asks which one, ok lady first I'm half asleep, second their dates of birth are listed on her sheet its clear I don't expect help for Eli. Anyway, me being half asleep I say "the 2nd one" Haha like that really answers her question, I realize after a minute and say "Willa, we would LOVE help for Eli's bills but figured that was out of the question" she agrees it is. Thanks me for answering the questions and says we should hear something in the next week or so.

Earlier this week we get something in the mail from KS Healthwave, its a letter announcing they now have an Internet and auto phone service you can log into to manage your accounts. It gives instructions for logging in and such and it says to use your member ID number listed on your health cards. So we are wondering does that mean we've been approved? And if so is it for Medicaid or Healthewave? We waited a few more days and sure enough we get like 5 letters from them (one for each of us and one with the cards and one other). First one I open is the one with the cards (I could feel them) and there are 3, (Casey has insurance through his work) I get excited but them I'm like "Is it medicaid or healthwave?" Casey opens a letter explaining what changes would cause us to need to report to them (change in job, income etc). I open a letter that is saying that Eli has been approved (doesn't say if its healthwave or medicaid) and that it is effective till May when I would have to re-apply. Next I open a letter that is explaining that I have been accepted for medicaid effective June 2011 to 2 months post partum which means I can submit the card info to the hospital and get it covered! I got very excited but I knew Willa's bill was the BIG one we would need to have help with. Finally I open her letter and it says she's been approved and that its effective starting Sept 7 2011 which is the day before she was born! YAY! Praise God that means I can submit her info to the hospital and the Neonatal Dr's that kept checking on her for coverage. What a relief, I know we would have just had to make payments and all but I hate having to do that and to be honest we are pretty strapped money wise monthly anyway. I also didn't want to have a HUGE bill hanging over us for so long.

LOL

All in all we are so thankful for everything! We have a healthy growing baby girl, bills will be paid and while things will be tight for awhile we know that there should be relief at least at tax time as adding another kid to the list will give us an even bigger tax break! Haha

Always learning something new.

I've learned a few things since being a mommy of two. Wouldn't think it would be much different then being a mommy of one but it is. Here are some things I've learned in no particular order.

1. They sync their bad moods. Case and point, today. Eli is grumpy and Willa is clingy, Eli wants to hold Willa but Willa screams when he holds her, if I take her away Eli screams. There has been no winning this battle today.

2. Getting up with a baby who is wide awake at 5:30am encourages getting some stuff done. Such as laundry I've been putting off.

3. Two screaming kids at the same time that has been going on for more then 5min is a good motivator to go down stairs and work on aforementioned laundry. Side note on this, Willa was in her swing in her room and Eli was in the living room blocked off from going upstairs to torment her.

4. They almost ALWAYS are in bad moods till Daddy gets home then they are little angels. Why is that?

5. They tag team Mommy in the middle of the night. Example: Willa wakes up at 2:30am for a feeding, around 3:15 I am putting her back to bed, just as I lay down Eli starts screaming I end up staying up another 20min to take care of him.

6. They can sure be cute when they want to be!

7. You get twice as much love.

8. You give twice as much love, who would have thought your heart could expand so much?

9. Spit up is still gross even when you should be used to it.

10. You change twice as many diapers, especially if the older sibling is still in diapers.

11. Due to number 10 I now have a deeper appreciation for parents of twins. Can you imagine? I mean at Eli's age we are changing about 5 diapers a day. A newborn its at least five times that, can you imagine having 2 newborns? Or maybe more?

12. The house becomes even more of a mess cause your so busy taking care of 2 kids you don't get as much done.

13. Due to number 12 the husband pitches in a lot more in the house work! Although Casey has always been REALLY good at helping period. He is always cleaning something.

14. If you weren't a morning person before you will be now!

15. Having 2 kids makes for an entertaining blog. :)

Grandma's are strange creatures.

This week with Casey being out of town and kids not sleeping well I had some help from 2 very eager Grandmothers. Also had the help from 1 of my aunt's who came with my mom when she came to spend a few hours. Some things I have found kinda comical while seeing how they react to different things.

First funny was when my Mom and Aunt got here, my Aunt was VERY excited to hold the baby. She promptly asked me if she could get Willa out of her bouncer to "hold" her. I said she could, after struggling for a minute to get the baby out (I'm guessing she didn't realize there were 2 clips not just one) she finally got her out and took her to the couch...... Where she sat down and laid the baby on the couch next to her. Wait, I thought she wanted to HOLD her!

Funny 2. Grandma decides to change her diaper, after her being upstairs a few seconds I hear "oh now thats cool! A notch in the diaper for the umbilical cord!". Ok So I'm figuring those are new within the last 18yrs since my mom's last kid was born. I want to note here that recently we were given a big box of pictures and a few other items from Casey's mom. One picture the diaper looked huge, or not put on right or something and I was asking Casey about it. Shortly after in that same box was one of his old Diapers (un used of course) that explained why it looked so funky. I'll have to take pictures of it, pretty much just a rectangle no shape no way to form to a baby period thing. Shows how far disposable diapers have come.

Funny 3. Same diaper change I hear Grandma "Oh no don't do that!" Or something of that nature. Pretty much Willa was tooting and I think even pooping before Grandma got the new diaper on. This parts a little fuzzy I was pretty tired! LOL

Funny 4, one I just remembered although it happened over a year ago. Eli was just a infant then, I had met my mother someplace to go to dinner. We decided to take my car and I clipped Eli into the car and hopped in. For those that haven't had kids within the last I don't know how many years now the infant car seats now days have a "base" that you install in the car and leave it there. The car seat clips into the base making it simple to just put the car seat in and listen for the click, to take it out you just squeeze the little handle and lift. Well I guess those weren't around 18yrs ago either cause my mom was like "Don't you need to buckle him in??" I was like "I did!" She says "Huh?" I was like "Didn't you hear the click? The seat just clips into the base its that easy". She looks at me and then says "Oh cool!"

Funny 5, Grandma Steph comes over to play for a couple hours. Always comical when she comes over cause she gets down on the floor and really PLAYS with Eli. Anyway it was a little early to put Eli down for a nap so I tell her in about an hour or so he should be ready for a nap. He will normally go to the gate if you ask him if he's ready for a nap and he's tired he will almost RUN to his bed. I did tell her that after she actually PUTS him in bed he will fuss for a VERY short time but thats ok. So I take a nap, when I come down I notice Eli is still up and she tells me that she couldn't get him to take a nap. She says that when she put him in bed he fussed (it wasn't even really a fuss it was more a whine) so she picked him back up and brought him down thinking he wasn't ready.

Funny 6, Grandma Steph saying that in the 2hrs that I took a nap she had to change 3 dirty diapers! Wow thats a lot of dirty diapers in her mind! I told her I normally change about 10 a day! Willa is a STINKER!

Final funny (that I can remember right now) Is seeing the results of both Grandma's diaper changes. I don't know if Willa just seems to small for them or what but both times I changed Willa after they had the diaper was barely on! We'll blame it on the tabs though for their sake. ;)

Late nights with the kids

"God is not here to be a part of our story, we are here to be a part of HIS story"- Max Lucado

This week has been trying for me, while last week Willa did GREAT over night only waking every 3-4hrs to eat really quick and going back to sleep right away, this week has been the complete opposite. Staying awake for hours on end at night and then not able to keep her awake during the day it has left me quite exhausted. To make it worse Eli has come down with a fever and hasn't been feeling good which has made him more clingy and fussy and more wide awake. Top it all off with Casey being out of town and well you have one very stressed and overwhelmed young family.

Last night was the worst we've had so far, Willa wanting to eat every 1-2hrs and then only taking a tiny bit before falling asleep just to wake up and scream if I tried laying her down. Eli waking up during that time and ending up in our bed with us while he drank some milk and waited for the Motrin to kick in to reduce his fever and help him feel better. Finally Eli was asleep around 4am, Willa on the other hand was wide awake anytime I'd lay her down. I finally got her to sleep around 7am and of course Eli woke up. Its just been one of those days. While I am exhausted and yes I'll admit I've been begging the kids (and God) for them to go to sleep. I still have to be thankful that aside from the fever and not feeling well I have healthy kids. That I at least have my baby I can hug and wish she'd go to sleep.

Recently a friend of mine had a miscarriage, I can't imagine the pain that must cause. Her grace about it and the way she told everyone was so admirable. I don't know that I would be able to be as Graceful about something like that as she has been. I know she loved that baby so much and it was hard on her yet she has dealt with it far better then I could ever hope to if something like that would happen to me. It reminds me to take a minute to hug my babies (no matter how worn out I am because of them at the moment) and to be thankful for every minute I have with them. Casey will be coming home sometime tomorrow and I can't wait! I am going to SLEEP, that is after he rests up from working long hours and driving the 4hr drive from St Louis. Thankfully I found out last night that it looks like they won't have to go back next week like originally thought because they should finish up this week! If he does have to go back it will be for 1 day. Drive there, do the job and come home. Although we are thankful he at least has a job when so many people don't right now.

So while I'm worn out physically and emotionally I am thankful to have a God who loves and cares for us and to be a part of HIS story. Knowing that I am a part of his story means I don't have to worry about what will happen because whatever happens is part of his master plan and that some day (even if its after the kids are grown and gone) I WILL sleep again. If nothing else I will get plenty of rest when God decides to call me home. :)

Is that Gas I smell?

The title could be taken any way! Having 2 kids in the house in diapers it seems like someone is ALWAYS poopy! Or at least I am ALWAYS thinking I SMELL a poopy diaper. I truly feel I have some of the gassiest kids on the planet at times! Ah the life of a mother of 2 kids under the age of 2. Although I have to admit I am LOVING it!

I can finally post this as he will be home this evening, but this week my husband has been out of town. Its been something I was dreading as we knew this was coming up. Originally it was supposed to be the 3rd week of July and just keeps getting pushed back. I was worried when they said it would be this week about 3wks ago what with my official due date being Oct 5 and being worried I would go early.  God worked all that out, but then it was he was leaving me alone with 2 kids under the age of 2 and one being a newborn would I get any sleep? Well as it turns out I actually am! At least for now, Willa eats about every 3 to 4hrs and that has allowed me to get some rest at night. Even yesterday I was able to coordinate her feedings to nap time and get a 2hr nap in! I don't know how that happened considering most of yesterday she was wanting to nurse every hour or so... Can we say "Oww?" Or maybe "MOOO"

So this morning we get up at 8:30am and I actually feel pretty rested! We didn't do to bad overnight, she woke up twice to eat and was quick (like 20 min) and then back asleep. Thank you Jesus for amazing kids! I let the dogs out into the backyard and shortly after hear excessive barking so went to check on them and tell them to quiet down. While outside I smell gas, I dart back inside for a minute and then back out to see if I still smell it. Yep I do, (thus the double meaning of the post). So I called the gas company and they came out. Turns out we had a small (very small) leak in the pipe leading from our basement outside. He was able to tighten the nut there where it was leaking and got it fixed. Wow what a huge sense of smell if I smelled it OUTSIDE! LOL Glad its fixed and now I don't have to worry about me and my wonderful kids blowing up! :)

I forgot to ad that when I called the gas company these were the directions I was given while waiting for someone to come check it out.
1. Someone over the age of 18 has to be present for them to do the inspection.
2. After this phone call don't use the phone, don't turn on (or off) any lights. Don't use any appliances or turn on any other electronics not already in use.
3. Put out any open flames and don't light any. (Um DUH)
and 4 just killed me. Evacuate the area, ok which is it? Number 1 or number 4? So I asked her. She kinda sighed and just said "Stay out of the backyard". LOL

Loving her some food!

Yesterday we were supposed to have Willa's weight check after leaving the hospital. When I got there though the nurse came out and told me that Dr Nash had to run and deliver a baby.... The nerve seriously? What was that woman thinking having a baby in the middle of clinic?? Oh wait, I guess what goes around comes around right? Seriously though I was more then understanding considering that less then 2wks ago I caused the same thing to happen. Thats what happens when you have an OB Dr as a family care Dr as well and if people get upset that she has to leave to deliver they should get a Dr that doesn't do OB care.

Anyway, I was slightly concerned about Willa though at the time, she had done well eating in the morning but I was having trouble rousing her to get her to eat in the afternoon. Even though it had been 4hrs since she last ate there was no waking that child. Her appointment was for 3pm and at that point I had only gotten her to take 10cc from a bottle since 10:15am. Finally right when we got home she took the rest of that bottle when had about 40cc in it. I had told the nurse of my concern and she had made sure we got an appointment for today with Dr Nash's husband the OTHER Dr Nash.

Of course after her not eating all afternoon, then last evening she was HUNGRY. She went less then 2hrs before wanting to eat and then she acted like she was STARVING and never been fed. Then of course she ate really well over the night. She is starting to get a sleeping schedule I think which is good. I was worried I'd never sleep again but overall I think I'm getting more sleep then I did with Eli...... At least for now, ;)

So today we got see Dr Nash's husband Dr Nash, he is great we don't mind seeing him if Dr Nash isn't available. Anyway he had gotten the message from the nurse that Willa hadn't eaten well yesterday so when we get there they weigh her and then tell me to feed her and then they would weigh her again. Of course I had recently pumped so I didn't have much milk to offer her other then the bottle of expressed breast milk I had packed for her. Today she has decided she doesn't WANT bottles anymore, which is GREAT considering the first 9 days of her life that was her main way of getting food. I finally got her to take about 30cc which isn't much for her but she wasn't to thrilled with the bottle. They did another weight check after eating to see if they could tell a difference. However she wouldn't eat much so it didn't show any change. Her weight when she was born was 5lbs 7.8oz, today her weight was 5lbs 13.5oz so Dr Nash was very pleased with her weight. He said they don't look for newborns to regain the weight they lost in the hospital till around 2wks and the fact that she was at such a higher number was great! He looked at her discharge sheet to see how much she weighed when we left the hospital and said that she has gained about 1.3oz a day since she's been home which is really really good! He said normally after the 2wks they look for them to gain about 1/2oz a day and she was already doubling that! He said she's going to catch up quick to where she should be and that he thought her not eating yesterday was just her crashing and needing more sleep then food. He said a lot of newborns do that and its only something to worry about when they it happens several days in a row or they start losing weight. He said he thought she was trying to make up for her low birth weight and then he leaned over and said "Ok Willa you are doing good you don't have to work so hard to catch up you can relax" LOL Was so cute, I really love our husband and wife Dr team that we have and I thank the Lord every day for their wisdom. They have really been great for us and we trust them both greatly.

Today's poopy count: To many to count its crazy! Eli: 2, Willa: at least 5 if not more. I feel like all I do is change diapers ha

Home alone with the kids today.

Today is my first day home alone with both babies and it has gone really well. Eli has actually been leaving his little sister alone finally! We were struggling with him wanting to really shake her pack n play which would make her bounce all over. Or when I was holding her he'd try to grab her hand, foot or whatever he could get a hold of. I really think he was just trying to touch her but was being to rough. Today he's been very respectful of her and even shown concern when she cries. Often times quickly running over to her to check on her when she cries. He's just tall enough he can stand on his tip toes and look over the rail into the pack n play so its cute to see him running over and looking in on her at every little peep.

Today Willa had her Dr's appointment for weight check since leaving the hospital, Grandma Steph came to watch Eli so I could just have the baby. Eli was down for a nap when we left by Grandma Steph told me that as soon as he came downstairs he ran to the pack n play and looked in and when he couldn't see her he started looking around for her. Sadly when I got to the Dr's office the Dr had to rush out to deliver a baby so we will have to go back for Willa's appointment. I understand that happening, after all it was just a couple weeks ago I caused the same problem for the office and so I totally understand.

Today Willa has not wanted to eat much, she ate fine several times this morning then around 10am she did ok but she wouldn't eat much after that, they said to feed her on demand but don't let her go over 4hrs. So around 1pm I tried to wake her up to feed her and she just was not interested. I finally got her to take a few sips but then we had to leave for the Dr. Finally got her to take a full bottle at 3pm which was way over the 4hrs. But I couldn't get her to wake up, I know that was the problem they had with her on Fri that kept her from coming home so I'm fully anticipating that tonight she will chow down and want to eat like every 2hrs and then some. I HOPE thats what she does, even though I will be very tired tomorrow. As long as she continues to gain weight and stuff. Right now she is wide awake which is good cause she's been zonked all day. I don't think we will end up back in the hospital but I'm going to keep an eye on her for sure. I'm pretty sure she's just tired from being awake so much yesterday and last night.

Last but not least I did a short photo shoot of Willa last night. Here are my favorites, she looks so much like her brother did when he was newborn. Except of course the hair, Ha

One thing I keep thinking when I look at this last picture is this. Willa means "Protector" those are her Fathers hands. So I think of how this is her Father protecting her, she is in her Fathers hands. It reminds me that her heavenly Father holds her with as much love and protection as her early father. I'm so thankful for a loving husband who is such a great father, and I'm even more thankful for a heavenly father who loves and holds us in HIS hands.

Our first night at home

So it was interesting having Willa actually home with us last night. She has been nursing good considering she was only given the chance to nurse twice a day and the rest of the time was given bottled expressed breast milk. Last night she wasn't always taking a full feeding at the breast. Of course by the time I had figured this out I had been up to feed at 12am, 2am, 3am and 6am. At the 3am I actually asked Casey to just feed her a bottle as I wasn't feeling well. I'll spare you the details but I think I am staying away from Burger King for awhile as this is the 2nd time in a row its upset my stomach. She ate about 50cc's and thats when she slept till 6am.

Today she has been doing better about getting more of her feedings at the breast, she ate at 8am and I went ahead and supplemented her a little with a bottle. She lasted till 12pm that feeding went really well and she lasted this last time for 3 1/2hrs. So I think we're doing great considering she wasn't allowed to nurse let alone eat for the first several days. I'm really excited to have her home.

Eli is taking this all like a champ! He is very interested in her, he wants to play with her and doesn't understand that she's to little. He currently thinks its very funny to shake the pack n play as hard as he can while she's in it and watch her bounce around in her bouncer that is in the pack n play. We are having a power struggle over that, we keep having to spank him and move him after giving him the option of stopping or being spanked. He also figured out to push his toy piano against it and then push his little rocking chair next to that and climb to be able to reach her. Thankfully that one was easily corrected and I think that was because once he got up he got stuck and that scared him a little. Another thing we had was he tried to bite her foot! That earned him a spanking! Thankfully her newborn Jammie's are to big and her foot wasn't to the end of the footie and he just got the Jammie and not her foot. Hmm I seem to remember one of my brothers biting one of his siblings right after the baby was born. I can't remember which one though. Overall we're happy to be home! My challenge starts tomorrow when Casey goes to work and leaves me alone with both babies.

Todays dirty diaper count: 7 I think, might be more then that! Hummm just dub us "Poopy Palace"

Our Family is all together at last

Today we got to go pick up our little Willa! She has been in the NICU for 9 days, at times it felt like a really LONG time and yet it seems to have gone by in a flash. Maybe its the little sleep I've been getting, who knows. Parts of this past week are just a blur to me, hopefully now we can back to some sort of routine. Although I know that it won't be the exact same.

I want to take a moment to thank everyone who has been praying for us and will continue to pray for us. I was very ready to have her home. Part of my concern was that she would be in at least another week, with the job Casey has coming up next week I was worried that I wouldn't get to go see her as much as I had been. But God worked all that out too.

We got home with Willa around 1pm, we ate lunch and then she was ready to eat again too. I fed her and we all were able to take a nap. Willa slept for about an hour and a half before waking up. Eli slept about 2 1/2 despite having a crying baby in the house.

After nap and feeding Willa again we came downstairs, Eli just kept looking at her not sure what to think. When I laid her in the pack n play he cried and cried. So I picked her up and sat on the couch. I encouraged him to come sit with me on the couch and finally after avoiding direct contact with her began to come closer saying "Baby" and or "Willa" finally he crawled up onto my knee and sat there looking at her and grinning. He's still a little rough with her but I know he'll learn we just have to be patient. Daddy went and got the camera and took a few pictures. Just in time too because as Eli was getting ready to get off Mommy's lap I asked him "Can you give Willa a kiss?" he quickly leaned over and gave her a gentle kiss! Was so sweet and Daddy caught it on camera! I think he's going to be a GREAT big brother!

Last nights visit looks promising for today

Its amazing to me how the few times I've felt weary physically and emotionally on the way to the hospital to visit Willa that right then several songs in a row come on the radio as if they were just for me! Songs about God being our strength when we are weak, songs about God never leaving etc. Always made me cry just a little as I would begin to feel better about our situation. Through out this ordeal I've just been remembering how so many other people in the NICU are dealing much more sick babies that might not even survive. As I think about those I'm thankful that we at least know that she isn't that sick and will be coming home at some point. It also reminds me to pray for them.

Spending all the time in the NICU just feeding and holding her gave me opportunities to pray for other people. Like the other night a Code Blue was called and I knew that family needed prayers. As did the person coding in case they didn't know Jesus. So I took the time to pray for them all, I've enjoyed my little girl holding her and feeding her when I can.

Yesterday her issues with not being able to be released was that she had lost weight the night before, not eating as well and her bili levels had gone up. Last night she gained weight, she was eating like a champ and this morning her bili went down! Yay!

So all that being said as I'm typing this blog I get a call from the neonatal Dr and he said she can come home today! So we are heading out now shortening this post to go pick her up! Yay thank you Jesus!